My thank you to my other half during HG

This is a thank you I wrote to my other half in February 2014 when I was about 14 weeks pregnant and has the things I went through due HG

During the last three months I never imagined I would make it to this stage of my pregnancy and feel happy.

Even though this baby is very much planned and wanted the illness I got has been physically and emotionally draining.

My hyperemysis took over at just 5 weeks I was rushed into hospital where I was put on a drip as I was severely dehydrated. I couldn't stay awake and hold a conversation with SStuart my other half. When I was awake I was constantly vomiting. I stayed in hospital 2 nights and was sent home with anti sickness tablets.

 During the next three days I ate nothing and couldn't even keep fluids down, I couldn't even get up to go to the bathroom I was so weak Stu had to help me. I cried so much the sickness was constant I didn't stop and it took my breath away. Then Stu couldn't even keep me awake and took me back to hospital where I had to stay 4 nights this time and be on a drip again and have anti sickness injections. This helped with the sickness and I would have 10, 20 or 30 mintutes where I wasn't sick. I felt like things might get better. I felt so lonely in hospital surrounded by women ready to give birth at just 6 and a 1/2 weeks I didn't resemble pregnant at all. I certainly didn't feel it. I just was ill.

When I left hospital things remained the same for a few weeks I was sick and couldn't eat a thing. I was in so much pain from hunger n the pain from being sick all my muscles ached so badly. I spent all day n night in bed. I was so lonely again n fed up emotionally. I could see it hurt Stuart to to see me in so much pain. I had to drag myself to the Dr with the help of Stu to be checked and weighed and I'd lost a massive 1st n half in just 3 weeks. I was so Ill and weak. 

I was out of breath walking the 6 steps to the toilet and couldn't manage going down stairs at all. Anytime I desperately needed to I went on my hands and knees as standing made my head whoosh and I vomited straight away. Any time I was not being sick or sleeping I was crying from pain and being so low. 

I ended up back in hospital as I couldn't even keep sips of water down again and became so dehydrated. Every part of my body hurt n ached n I just wished it was over and I could die. I've never felt like that. 

After the fourth time in hospital I was so fed up. I was missing work, seeing people and actually living. I became a bit obsessed with cooking programs too. Which I'm sure didn't help my hunger!

Over the next few weeks I slowly began to eat ice cream and jelly. Picking food was done by how it felt and tasted when it came back up!! Toast was suggested often but is one of the worst things to vomit! I slowly begain to eat v dry small meals then would have days were I was sick and couldn't eat again and just stayed in bed. 

I didn't think for one minute it would get better but it has I'm not 100% bit I can cope with the few bouts of sickness that actually resemble morning sickness as ive had way worse.

 Now my tummy is growing and I'm eating actual meals Today I heard the heart beat for the first time and actually feel pregnant and not ill at 17 weeks. I probably will have a few more sick days but hopefully over the worst. 

If you do go through it I salute you because it's God damn hard everyday feels so long and working to each week seems like a lifetime. Try to stay calm when people suggest ginger for your 'morning sickness' the ignorance for the illness is still very much around. And get support, I couldn't have done this without my man, he took care of me so well, our two kids and the house. He is amazing.  

You're making a rod for your own back

OSo today is Monday 10th November and I have decided to try and get Reuben into a better sleep pattern. I believe because I have breast fed him he has gotten used to falling asleep on me whilst feeding. Whilst this is an easy way for me getting him to sleep on a night it is a problem.through the day as he wants me to rock him and hold him to go for his nap and if he wakes up through the night he cannot soothe himself back to sleep.

I'm am trying the get your baby to sleep in 7 days : http://www.parents.com/baby/sleep/issues/teach-baby-to-sleep-in-7-days/

I am using the 1-10 scale for sleepiness. 1 being wide awake 10 being fast asleep. The aim is to put him in his bed between 7/8 on the scale so he is just tired enough but still awake to soothe himself.

So tonight is the start of our new routine.

6pm -bath time. He was quite giddy as he is now in the big bath and can splash about. This could be a good thing for burning off any last bits of energy.
Sleepy rating: 2

6:20pm drying and getting dressed for bed.
Sleep rating:3 getting hungry and crying a bit.

6.30-7pm - feeding. He had just a few minutes breast milk and 4oz of formula. I have also introduced a number 2 test for his bottles today as he was sucking g so hard and making lots of noise. This seemed better there wasn't much noise and he seemed happier with the flow. Stopping at times and then starting again. During the feed I read him a story.

Sleepy rating: at the start 3-4 by the end of the bottle he was 7-8

7pm- laid him in his cot. He wasn't impressed. So put on his night light stars that shine onto the ceiling and white noise. He is staring at the stars.
I sat on the bed where he can't see me for 10 minutes then leave the room. 
I have the tommee tippee baby monitor with camera on.

7:20- he is still awake and starts to whimper then starts to cry. One of the older children opens the door and starts to talk to him. Grrr. Should have explained before what I was doing.
I go in and pick him up and give him 1oz left in his bottle. (Probably shouldn't have done that.) Put him back down at 7:25 and leave the room.

7:30- he starts whimpering  and genlty crying. Not gone in this time. He stopped after two minutes.

8:15- Reuben started crying. (My iPad got a message and woke him up) went and put it on aeroplane mode!
Stopped crying after one minute.
Started again a minute later and stopped again within a minute. Just a little whimper though.

8:30- Reuben cried for 5 minutes. I went upto him and he was upset. Picked him up and breast fed for 5 minutes and put him in his crib and he cried again. I needed to cuddle him. He fell asleep in my arms by 8:50. Think that's a failure for tonight. :-(

9pm: put him back in the crib
9:20 - starts crying again really loud. I need to hold him I don't like him being sad. He stops as soon as I do. He falls asleep next to me on my bed. I put him in his crib at ten and go to bed.

3:45: Reuben woke for his first night feed

I know I gave up on the first night but I've never had him cry like that before and I don't like it.

Then I realised he is a baby of course he wants me and feels safe when I cuddle him.

I am not going to listen to all these people with their good advice because seriously how many grown adults do you know who are still breastfeeding and rocked to sleep by their mummys. None. He will be fine he is a baby.

Reubens 10th week

My cheeky little chap is 10 weeks!